Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The nameless

This morning after I dropped my twins at school I followed the side street as it wound through the familiar subdivision. As I got half way through a curve in the road I noticed to small children outside, unattended. They must have been twins. Toeheads, only about a year or so in age. I live in the cold climate of Michigan, it was not even 40 degrees this morning. The two girls were without coats and hats. Without shoes and socks even.

I was chatting with my husband and made mention of them and assured him and myself that their mother must have noticed and will get them back inside any second. The road continued to curve and they were out of sight. My heart began to beat faster, I felt so sad for them, and genuinely concerned. I couldn't continue to drive. I had to go back. As I re-approached the home, the girls were still outside but wandering closely to the street as they made their way farther away from what I assumed was their home. There was a house with the front door wide open. Another mom from the school had stopped and asked as I got out of my vehicle if I knew the girls. I told her I didn't but they were on the lawn of the home where the door was open and to please keep an eye on them while I went to the house.

The large picture window in the front of the home was busted open in the top right corner, a pillow filled the hole, keeping out the cold. The opposite corner had a missing pane where a piece of wood must have been nailed in place at one time to block the hole but it had been pushed aside. I pounded on the siding of the house. No one came. I really began to panic at this point. My suddenly went crazy with the possibilities of what could be inside the doors of this home. Now I wonder what secrets it holds. I pounded again and yelled "excuse me" into the doorway. Still, no one came.

I wondered back over to the other mom. She asked if I called 911. I hadn't. I was hoping their mother was busy getting ready for work or in the bathroom and would quickly notice their absence. A dog finally peaked out the front door and a few moments later a woman came out the front door. She was irate with her little girls. Because, of course a wee one who can barely walk on her own certainly understands that she is not allowed out of the house without mom, no? They were babies for pete sake!

The mom said "my son unlocked the door." I told her I don't think that would have really mattered "they could easily have left through the front window." A third car had pulled up now who knew the other mom with me and asked what was going on. The mom simply snickered and said "watching my children for me."

Finally, mom hustled to the end of the street where the girls had made their way. Little stinkers actually ran from her. She put one girl on each hip and very, very slowly began to walk back toward her home. I think she was hoping we'd be gone before she made it to the house. I just stood there and watched as she re-entered her home without looking back. Not a smile, a thank you for saving the lives of my children this morning while I was sleeping, nothing.

The street this house is on is a wide main road that goes through the middle of a very large subdivision and connects from one major road in the city to another major road in the city. It's a short cut. It's the main way into the sub. Not many mind the 25mph speed limit on this road because it quickly gets you from one mile to the next. With the level of traffic on the road on any given weekday morning, anything could have happened to those girls.

I'm angry but I'm not judging this mom. I don't blame her. Maybe she doesn't know any better. I don't know her situation. I don't know why there are holes in the front windows letting all the cold air into the home. I don't know what secrets the structure of that house holds. I can only assume, there is suffering. For the safety of the children I did ask the local police department to check on mom and the kids. It is up to them to decide if another agency like social services should be involved. I do know that God needs to be involved.

I don't know what mom was doing in the house while her young girls played outside by themselves for at least seven minutes. I don't know if she was embarrassed, probably. None of that matters to me. I wish I had names that I could put the with face of that mom and the two little girls. I will be praying for them today and for many days ahead. I'm glad God is all knowing. I'm glad miracles are still for today so that whatever this family has need of will be met in some way or another.

Lord you know this mom by name and the precious gifts you have bestowed upon her. You know her heart. You know her needs. You know the needs of those children. I pray Lord that this family and their needs to covered in the name of Jesus. The windows get fixed so the cold air no longer seeps into the home. I can't begin to imagine their needs but you have every hair on their head counted. Soften their hearts, remove the blinders. Bring good people into their lives to plant seeds and meet their needs, and minister love to them; your love. Lift the burden of their hearts and replace it with peace. In the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

I didn't share this story today to pass judgement or gossip about a woman's misjudgement, misfortune, or mistakes. My children have gotten away from me. It's scary, it's unpleasant, and it is embarrassing. I've made mistakes and treated my children in a way that was less than they deserve. I'm not a perfect mother by any means. I shared this story today because I know my blog is followed by great woman filled with God's love and I know you will pray with me for this family. They are nameless but Jesus knows exactly who they are.

Friday, October 24, 2008

This is a great, great, great, family!

Hailey woke up this morning and climbed into bed with me like her and Mallory do many mornings. This morning she gave me her usual kiss and hug and said "I love my mommy, this is a great, great, great, great family." She knows just how to make me melt.

Those words got me thinking of the many funny things my children have said just in the last few days. Here are a few of our funny family stories.

When I took Faith and Karli to school to get them registered before the year began, we met the principal who gave us a tour of the school. Both of their teachers were in their classrooms preparing for the year so we got to meet each of them. Faith has Ms. Schultz and Karli, Mr. Nameth. Both are young people who couldn't have been teaching for very long, this always pleases me. On our way back to the car Faith said "I wish I had Mr. Nameth, he's" and she paused but continued with "cute." I was outraged but Karli beat me with her words saying "O-M-G Faith! You're crushing on my teacher and he's older than you!" Again, I was outraged. I just simply said "I can't believe this conversation just happened but we're going to move on now."

Just yesterday, Faith started our van for me. Something I often ask her to do because I'm usually pressed for time and rushing around. Having the van warmed up so I can see out the windows is pretty important if I want to get them to school safely. So she started the car, "unlocked" it so the rest of the doors would be open, closed the door and came back inside. Um, yeah, she locked all the doors! There my van sat running, defrosting, getting nice and warm for us, with the keys locked inside. Thank goodness we have a good friend that lives around the corner who works for his Grandpa's towing company. He was over in thirty minutes and unlocked our van for us. Mallory and Hailey are already quite fond of Jeff to start. Yesterday, he was their hero because he opened our car which meant, they could go to school. They were completely distraught at the idea of having to miss school. Mallory and Hailey jumped in the van after he opened it and I ran to grab my purse, leaving Jeff to chat with my twins. As he walked back to his truck and I buckled Hailey she said "he's so funny, I wanna marry him." She giggled then asked me to tell Jeff she said so. I will do no such thing. Jeff grew up with my little brothers, he is like part of the family so my parent's were pretty amused when I told them the story. Ugh! 4 1/2 and boy crazy! I'm in trouble.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Seven Days Without Prayer Makes One Weak

I believe that many things in our life are predestined. It is tough to fathom though. For instance, there must have been a day last year amidst the holiday season when my mother-in-law Sherri saw a book or heard about it on the radio. I'm not sure when it occurred or how she found it, but I am certain that when she lifted it for purchase God could already see the days ahead. The days I would pull it out. The days I would need the words it contains. The season of my life that it would serve.

I don't know how my parent's did it. How they had little but still managed to provide for all three of us everything we ever wanted. Dance lessons, brand name clothes, trips to Skate World. Yes, my parent's sent three kids to Skate World three days per week, every week. Yeah, I was one of those girls. I was a speed skate owning, daisy duke wearing, eye batting, trouble maker! Anyway, I'm used to getting what I want when I want it. My parent's provided everything for me until I began to work and even then between my pay checks and my wonderful Todd, I still managed to always have it all. Until now. I'm not a patient person. Okay I don't want to profess that. I used to have trouble being patient but God is changing my heart. I prefer immediate gratification. So this long season of waiting and rebuilding and learning and healing is long and frustrating and long and long. Did I say it is long? It actually hasn't been that long but to one who used to easily get what she wants when she wants it, it's an eternity.

So back to the book. These words filled my heart and refreshed my patience as it has so many other days. I am more aware now that what happens in my life isn't just about me. It is about so much more. The lessons I learn I will later share with others. I need to be in the right place at the right time, the God place and the God time in God's will, in order for my life to truly be what he intended it to be. So I will rest on the following words in patience and trust that he has a perfect plan for me. He will fulfill my dreams. The fulfillment of my life and my dreams will then affect many around me. I'm in awe at how he does it all.

My Princess...

Wait on Me

Wait on Me, My princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things (let me just interject here and say that is an understatement), and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes (that would be why I'm not a vinedresser), so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards.


Your King and Lord of perfect timings

Isaiah 40:31 NIV

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on winds like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

All kidding aside, I've already been in a place where I tried to fly on my own, make my dreams come true instead of waiting on God. Been there, done that, I'm writing the book! Trust me when I tell you, my dreams came true by my own hand and now, well they're gone, they've withered. For now. My strength has failed me until there was none left! It is only by Jesus and what he does in me daily that I am able to keep going. And there are still many days and many phases where even his love and his comfort cannot sustain me and I want to ball up, hold my chest, and pray my heart be ripped out because it would be more comforting to have it gone than to continue to bear the brokenness. Not because he cannot sustain me. Not because he isn't all knowing. Not because he cannot heal me. But because in those days I choose to believe the lies. I choose to believe that I don't deserve it, that I deserve to suffer and carry the weight on my own. It isn't always enough for me to lay it at the cross once. I often need to lay it down over and over and over in the same day.

My parent's bought me a trivet. It reads "seven days without prayer makes one weak." Do you know how long that thing sat in my kitchen before I realized it said "weak" and not "week?" I know that having time in his presence renews my strength and holds my head up high. I wish I could say that I didn't allow too many days to come and go before I get back on my face again. But when I do let too many days go by, I know it and so do those who live with me. I get down, way down into the worst kind of funk and it stinks down there and it's dark and it's just not fun. So get in his word and stay in his word. Prayer doesn't have to be this stern, humongous thing in life or be uber spiritual. Just talk to Jesus like you would talk to any friend. I'm committed to not letting too many days go before I seek his presence so his love and peace will keep me.

Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens.

I heard a song this morning with a line of lyric that said "don't fight these arms that hold you." Unfortunately, that is many times my gut reaction. To put up a wall of protection, hold myself together, and block out and keep away any and all forms of any attempt to comfort me. I'm stubborn. Jesus is our source of comfort, but he is a gentleman, we must allow his love, comfort, and peace to reach us.

I heard two days ago that a dear friend of mine and her family made the tough decision to allow Hospice to take over the care of her grandmother. She has always been close with her grammy and taken wonderful care of her. Visiting her often and taking her to necessary appointments. The last several months have been difficult for her to watch as the grandma she loves and knows has disappeared into a world of dementia. At times we, her friends, got her through because we would laugh with her at the parts of the story that were funny. Because with dementia, although it is painful to watch, it most certainly can be funny too, the stories and the things her mind manages to make her believe. If, you allow yourself some relief and see the lighter side of things, which we tried to do for Molly. There is little I can do to bring her comfort. All I can do is think of her often, of her family, and pray peace, strength, and comfort over them as they sit and wait. Wait for the inevitable.

I was then informed this morning that my brother-in-law lost his father last night. This is one of the strongest men I've ever met, coming back from the brink of death more times than I can count. Yet, there is more. My husband's parents divorced when he was young and after we started to have children of our own his mother met and married David. David's mother is a youthful, vivacious, and energetic woman, full of life. She is in her late 70's but you would never know it. She is vigorous and strong, dances several nights a week with the man she is committed to, since she has lost two husbands, and shows no sign of aging. She was informed this week that she has a lump on her kidney that the doctors think is cancer. She is scheduled for surgery on November 5th to remove the lump. If they discover the lump is cancerous they will later remove her kidney. But, I serve a God of miracles! There is no way this fierce woman is going to lay down and just let anything be taken from her. I'm believing for that lump to cease to exist in Jesus precious name and disappear! She is my children's 'GG' (great-grandma).

I was created as a person who empathises easily with others, with their trials, their joy, and their pain. This is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because the words flow easily when I send a note or card meant to comfort, encourage, or congratulate. Some how God always fills my spirit with exactly what that person needs. A curse because when it is pain they are facing, I feel it too.

The song this morning reminded me though that we have a comforter we can turn to. We are not meant to carry the burden alone. Not do we only have friends and family who bring kind words and comfort but we have Him.

Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
Then Jesus said, "come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

That is as much for me today as it is for those I love that are suffering. So I won't fit about and refuse to be loved. I surrender my burdens and lay them at the foot of the cross. Jesus will bear the weight and count my tears, and yours, and though it will be tough to refuse to feel the sting, I will walk in peace. I won't allow the people I love to fit about either and suffer alone. I will open my heart and my arms and embrace them and surround them with love and prayer. I pray that each person who is suffering today have a heart that is open, open to receive from Jesus. Receive his peace, his joy, his strength. Fill them Jesus, let them know your presence.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A Fall Family Weekend

This is for sure the toughest season of my life. Each season somehow seems to feel that way though, in the midst of it. I am thankful for the moments I can steal away and be myself, just enjoy life, enjoy my family, be full of peace, and just be.

I had a Halloween event last week Friday which was very hard work and very busy work but so much fun and my husband and I met so many cute kids and their friendly parents. We spent the rest of the weekend in Port Sanilac at my favorite campground for one of their Halloween weekends. I spent the weekend thinking of the many things I have to still be grateful for...

belly laughs and snuggles around the campfire
warm, gooey pizza as a midnight snack
nieces and their friends that love to mother my twins
the crisp fall air
the glorious array of colors
the warmth of the sun on my face
a hubby who makes a good cup of joe, crispy bacon, and buttery scrambled eggs
holding hands while we walk with the kids
sometimes my body aches because I love him so much
I just need him close and to feel his love
having nothing to do but watch the children plan and giggle
enjoying 300 glorious pages in my latest book
playing at the park
watching Mallory and Hailey test their limits on the monkey bars
and laughing hystercially at how monkey-like the two of them are
getting bundled up to stay warm
a cozy pair of sweatpants and matching sweatshirt my husband bought me that I would otherwise never wear in public
hot cocoa
yummy chili
I didn't realize how much I loved food

It was a beautiful weekend and like the warmth of the sun on my face, there is warmth in my heart.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I thought she'd always be there.

I pulled in the driveway with my family to a new home, a new city, and a new school. I saw her across the field outside with another girl. I later learned her name is Kelly and her friend, Anna. I can still recall a photo I have tucked away somewhere of the two of them on her father's riding lawn mower, and it makes me laugh. And a whole series of images floods my mind; holding our noses outside an outhouse at Girl Scout Camp, the hot air balloons we watched take off that weekend, hundreds of them, and the tour of the Kellogg's factory. The many Halloween costumes. Dancing and singing along to Prince while jumping on the two beds in her room. Playing Bank. Making peanut butter covered crackers. Watching Entertainment Tonight with her mom, her mom's favorite thing on T.V. as I recall. Making popcorn. Her father in his chair that everyone knew belonged to him. Baking cakes. Blushing uncontrollably around her brother and his friends that were much older than I. Sleepovers, lots of sleepovers. Taking turns tickling each others backs and I always went last and she always let me. Yes Todd, that would be where the whole back rub thing comes in, and why you never seem to get one! He he! She was always good to me. My best friend. And the very best friend she was.

I can remember a weekend we went up to CMU to see her sister for sibling weekend. I remember being completely embarrassed for sticking the tape in the tape deck backward. I don't remember if I broke it. One of many stupid things I would eventually do to be embarrassed and ashamed of. I doubt this will be as funny to you, and I can't remember why it started to begin with, but we got excited about something. Her mom said "yeee-haw," Kelly followed with something like "yahooooo" or something along those lines and for some reason I screeched "yip, yip, yipeeeee." They both laughed so hard at me, not making fun, but for some reason it was just funny.

I can remember by dumb brothers climbing on the roof of their house with water and dumped it on Kelly's sister and her friends while sunbathing. Mortifying!

The worst of it comes later. When we entered junior high school. Actually, now that I think about it, it did start in elementary school. Kelly would be my best friend at home. But, I was so desperate to fit in at school that if I was forbid to hang out with her then I'd ignore her. At least until the rest of the "clique" got angry with me for some stupid thing and kicked me out. Then I'd run back across the playground with my true friends. Only I was too stubborn, selfish, and ignorant to realize these girls (who always accepted me) were my true friends. One of them, Stacy, I keep in touch with via e-mail only. Two of them, Molly and Christy, I have the pleasure of seeing all the time. I have the pleasure of attending Christy's wedding as she marries the man of her dreams next month. I am grateful to have had the chance to redeem myself with these ladies.

I never had that chance with Kelly though. Not because she hadn't offered but because I seemed to have thought I didn't need her or I was better or I'd prefer to be friends with others. I think I assumed she'd always be there. Not sure what the heck I was thinking! I moved from that house in high school, she moved also, and moved again, then left the state for a while. While I was getting married and having children. Our lives got in the way. Or, I let mine get in the way.

There is so much I would like to change, to take back. I know it isn't possible though and I regret all that I have missed with her and the way I treated her. I have recently had the chance to get in touch with Kelly and I'm so looking forward to seeing her face to face. So I can tell her all about my brothers and my parents. So she can meet my husband and my family. I can already image it. My children will adore her. But, she will be overwhelmed with my zoo. They are all so loud and exuberant and friendly. There is so much I have to say. So much I want to know about her, who she is today, how she met her husband, when will she have babies, how her siblings and mom are now doing.

I already know in my heart who she is today. I know her heart has not been hardened by the world and she is still as gentle and sweet and pure as ever. Oh, how I have missed her.

I want to thank my blog friends for your prayers, kind words, and encouragement. You lifted my head and allowed me to let the peace in. Blessings to you especially knowing that we each seem to have found ourselves in a bit of a funk recently. I'm so blessed to have a network of great woman I can turn to who also know the ultimate source of our peace and joy.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'd like to order the Peace Platter with a side of Joy please!

I don't know how many days it has been, too many. Too many days have been spent wound up tightly like a top. I have felt frustrated, stressed, strained, and on edge. Struggling, fretting and fighting off the urge to break down. Looking for the slightest easing of these emotions, a bit of relief, peace. I've muttered through my life tense like a volatile volcano on the verge of spewing hot lava every where. Worse, I'm certain my aggravated state has allowed offense words to leave my mouth and feel like hot ash to those around me.

I've been looking at my life, my world, and everything within it through the glasses of Kari. These glasses block my peripheral vision and prevent me from noticing others around me and keep my focus on myself.

There has been this nagging within my mind that wants everyone to conform to what I want. The urge to make them make me feel the way I want them to. Pitching a fit when I don't get my way. These are acts I wouldn't recommend as they only lead to a laundry list of disappointments.

I finally started to wonder what was wrong with me. Why am I so unhappy? Why am I so stressed and so wound up? Thinking, if I could just have this happen then I'll be happy or if I could just have that now, I'll be happy. In truth, I've been so unhappy because of the selfish attitude I've been carrying with me. I'm not doing anything to help anyone else. Even at home. I fulfill my responsibilities but expect the rest of the members to revolve around me. Nice mom eh! So yeah, so far this post is fun! This frame of mind is not very conducive to trying to write either.

So I know what my problem is and I need to get out of this funk! I need to get my face on the floor and seek the Lord's presence, peace, and most importantly, forgiveness.

Okay so I'll quit with the whining and just get over myself!

2 Thessalonians 3:5
May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.

This verse sums up what I so desperately need to feel attainable to me now. A full understanding, a revelation of God's love and the ability and strength to express it toward others coupled with patient endurance that must come only from Christ.

When I think of endurance I am reminded of when my gym coach would make me run a mile, four full times around the track. Grueling! I eventually became capable of resisting the voice in my head telling me to quit, quit immediately, I can't take it and continue to run in spite of my minds urgency to stop. This is endurance. But you see, it was still a struggle. Although I was succeeding at putting my mind down, forcing my body to comply, and continued to move my feet it was uncomfortable, hard. So the idea that a person can endure and endure patiently provides the assumption that it must not be hard. So how does one achieve endurance that is easy, patient endurance? I'll let ya know when I figure it out. In the mean time, I will continue to ask for peace and expect it. I will keep my eye focused on the Lord and my goals, and each day allow myself a small fraction of time to grieve for that which I have not yet recovered from.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I remember...

I remember the years I walked this earth aimlessly
without a purpose
without a point
without hope.

I remember being so desperate for love
I would take affection in any form it came.

I remember feeling so needy
so lonely.

Longing for the presence of love
longing for acceptance

I remember when we met
how it felt to just stand close to you
how my knees would quiver
and my heart would race.

I remember our first date
how we talked for hours.

I remember never wanting you to leave
kissing at the door for eternity.

I remember how you taught me
what true love is
unconditional love

I remember when you picked out first song
when you kissed me in your car
how it was your way of sharing your love for me
when we danced to it on our wedding day.

I remember how you taught me
are still teaching me
to communicate
instead of keeping it bottled inside.

I remember every instance
where you chose to give
instead of being selfish
when you apologized
when it wasn't your fault
where you rebuilt the bridge
when a few pieces had been ripped out.

I remember where I was
and how I felt
before I began this journey with you.

I remember the places
you have brought me
and the ways
you have changed me.

I remember
dressing our son for the first time together that day in the hospital, he was so tiny wasn't he.
driving for miles to get him to sleep
naming Faith
and birthing her monstrous body
how you cared for me when Karli was so challenging
how you loved me when one was ripped away from us
and the "wows" that followed the news of Mallory and Hailey.

The times
and ways
you have carried me
are countless.

Now, it is my turn
to carry you
love you
support you
encourage you

"No one ever said the road would be easy
but that it would be worth it."

I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

I forgive you.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


I started the first Stephanie Meyer book last week Thursday. I found it impossible to put down and finished it last night. The book for me ranks up there with The Notebook. Yeah, it's that good.

I read this morning, the movie opens on my birthday! I feel a date night coming on. I'm always glad to read the book before seeing the movie it gets turned into. I'm glad when my favorites are turned into movies because then I can share my love of something with Todd. He would never otherwise sit and read the book; Twilight or The Notebook. He did take me to see Phantom of the Opera at least twice. I lost count as to how many times I've actually seen it though. He has always had a bit of a romantic flare. For our first anniversary, he took me to see Phantom at the Pantages Theatre in Ontario. Awesome! He even once sat through The Nutcracker at the Fox Theatre in Detroit that was put on by a lovely Russian ballet company. I said "sat" he actually, fell asleep! Not the important part though, what's important is that he took me when I'm sure he would have preferred having his teeth plucked one by one with tweezers.

Ontario was the first time I had ever been to another big city like that. No, I did go to Chicago but I spent the whole weekend in a dance competition so I didn't see much. The city is huge. The highways are five lanes wide and apparently the folks that live there think there is no speed limit. I can remember walking near the theatre the day before we were actually supposed to be there. I was only 18. There were crowds of people dressed in black tie affair walking the streets. I had no idea where they were going but I wished I could go and I wished I could be dressed like they were. In my memory, I see myself with my arms stretched out from my sides twirling in a circle, full of wonder and amazement.

Another thing I remember from the trip besides sitting on the edge of my seat during the entire performance of Phantom, was what happened after our brief stint at McDonald's. We stopped for a bite to eat, we were in a hurry so we just used the restroom and headed back to the car to eat while we drove. When we returned to the car, a tiny little Geo Metro Convertible, it wouldn't start. So, Todd popped the handle for the trunk and began to get out. Before doing so, he tried to start the car once more. It started right up, so he pulled his door closed and we headed back to the freeway. Of course once we hit the center lane of this huge freeway without a speed limit, the hood became unlatched and slammed into the windshield. We had forgotten to get out of the car and shut the hood properly. So we did what any normal person would do, slow down, close your eyes, and tilt the steering wheel to the right. Pray that everyone gets out of your way and you make it safely to the side of the road. Actually, Todd used his rear view mirror to guide the car and ensure he could change lanes and we did make it safely to the side of the road. Thankfully, the windshield crack but didn't shatter and completely come apart. What could have been much worse, turned into only having to replace the windshield.

Anyway, back to Twilight. There are a couple of things that bothered me about the book. A couple of chapters, somewhere past the half way point of the book, that go on about how Edward and his "family" came to be. A bit of history that I could have lived without. It was confusing and hard to read but I guess an important component to the book. I realize it isn't necessary to say "he said," "she said," or "I wondered" after every spoken word but this was lacking a bit and it made it tough to decipher just which character was speaking at certain times. There were also a few places where there was an opening quotation mark but no closing mark so it made it a bit tough to determine when the character was finished speaking and when it turned into their train of thought. I was also annoyed that the author would choose a world like "incredulously" and use it over and over and over again instead of getting out a thesaurus and picking a new one. There are a handful of words she did this with.

I love words. I love to read. I don't consider myself a writer but a lowly person with a passion to let things out in written form and pray that it be inspired and directed by God. I did however, use to work as an Assistant Editor (can you tell?) for a company that created an online educational class that teaches people to become proofreaders. It isn't as easy as I imagined; becoming a proofreader. I didn't think I would love it as much as I did. I didn't realize how much I missed it.

I think I'll be heading to my local Sam's Club to pick up the second book. But, I know there are only four books in the series so far so I think I'll take my time and enjoy it. I'll try anyway.