Friday, October 10, 2008

I remember...

I remember the years I walked this earth aimlessly
without a purpose
without a point
without hope.

I remember being so desperate for love
I would take affection in any form it came.

I remember feeling so needy
so lonely.

Longing for the presence of love
longing for acceptance
nourishment.

I remember when we met
how it felt to just stand close to you
how my knees would quiver
and my heart would race.

I remember our first date
how we talked for hours.

I remember never wanting you to leave
kissing at the door for eternity.

I remember how you taught me
what true love is
unconditional love
acceptance
nourishment.

I remember when you picked out first song
when you kissed me in your car
how it was your way of sharing your love for me
when we danced to it on our wedding day.

I remember how you taught me
are still teaching me
to communicate
instead of keeping it bottled inside.

I remember every instance
where you chose to give
instead of being selfish
when you apologized
when it wasn't your fault
where you rebuilt the bridge
when a few pieces had been ripped out.

I remember where I was
and how I felt
before I began this journey with you.

I remember the places
you have brought me
and the ways
you have changed me.

I remember
dressing our son for the first time together that day in the hospital, he was so tiny wasn't he.
driving for miles to get him to sleep
naming Faith
and birthing her monstrous body
how you cared for me when Karli was so challenging
how you loved me when one was ripped away from us
and the "wows" that followed the news of Mallory and Hailey.

The times
and ways
you have carried me
are countless.

Now, it is my turn
to carry you
love you
support you
encourage you
unconditionally.

"No one ever said the road would be easy
but that it would be worth it."

I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

I forgive you.

3 drops of sunshine:

Cindy said...

I will be praying for your family.

Forgiveness is a true gift that only God can work in us. I trust that HE will walk with you.

Tabbie:) said...

Sweet Post. Memories are healing. Hope healing comes where needed.

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

I have been there and it is not easy. you are truly beautiful.