I'm Fruitful! I'm Focused! I'm Living My Purpose! I'm Rockn' My Box!

*Edited* to say this quote "We have people in our lives who come to us to get what they need and it's all they know to do. When we hurt or we have needs, they have no idea what to do with us." as seen below, is attributed to a good e-mail full of advice I received from Tabbie. Tabbie is a wonderful person I've had the pleasure to connect with via blog land and I'm so grateful for all the kind words, encouragement, and advice she has brought to my life!

Yesterday I started to pick things up around the house and hadn't been feeling well all day so the hubs sent me to my bed to try and relax a bit. I flipped through the channels and got a good heavy dose from Joyce Meyer. Click here to check out yesterdays Podcast.

I've seen a lot of Joyce Meyer this year and I have to say, she couldn't have landed on a better note, or hit the nail harder on the head! This podcast is exactly where I was yesterday!

The hubs and the kids are all home from work and school and we haven't had much to do the last week and a half or so. This has left me with too much time on my hands to think too much. I spent the last couple of days moping around about this and moping about that and complaining about this and complaining about that. So hubby that it was really funny when he walked into the middle of a Joyce Meyer broadcast to catch her getting excited about all the things he's been telling me for days and weeks! Oh yeah, he had his "told ya so" moment!

One thing that caught my attention in this broadcast is when she talks about how we do things so we don't upset others, because we want to be well liked, because we want to be part of the crowd, we don't want anyone to talk about us, etc. I was very pleased to realize I am not the only woman on this planet that feels that way! Hallelujah! I'm not an insecure retard!

Well, I started to say no to some things this year and learned that Joyce is right. When I started to say no to the things I felt led to get rid of in my life, to line up my actions with what I say out of my mouth, I didn't fit into every box or clique I wanted to fit into. The trouble is, when you spend a good portion of your life knowing someone, they know all the ins and outs of your life. They know where your knees tend to buckle to sin, the mistakes you've made, they know who you were before you surrendered to Jesus. And you know what, they don't let you off the hook! They continue to see you in the same light they have always seen you. So I'm faced with a variety of different people with a variety of different expectations and I'm made to feel guilty and question my character when I don't meet those expectations. But really, only God knows what is required of me. Only he requires anything of me. Yes, I do have a responsibility as a wife and a mother but God and I with the support of the hubs will determine the best way for me to live that out along with all the other decisions and commitments I make in life.

I spent a lot of time this year trying to get over what other people think of me and thank you Jesus, I'm almost all the way there! I wasted a lot of time trying to please and impress other people. I plan to carefully evaluate my time this coming year. I want to get the most of each and every day. I want to be salt and light. I want to be the kind of Christian that helps others. I want to be the kind of Christian that brings other people to heaven with her! So if your one of those people whose opinions used to occupy my thoughts and time, I just don't have room for your opinion in my schedule anymore.

I told a friend earlier today there are so many things I learned this year but two things I know for sure are, a lot of people are takers. We have people in our lives who come to us to get what they need and it's all they know to do. When we hurt or we have needs, they have no idea what to do with us. I'm still available to the takers of my life but I am aware now of those I can turn to in my hour of need. The trouble with expecting something of someone incapable is that you are the one left like there is something wrong with you. I assure you, there is nothing wrong with you. You share your lives so you can be available for that person and God has called someone else to be available to you.

The second thing I learned this year is being the better person and taking the high road does not always yield desirable results. I thought that if I made all the right choices and did everything maturely that all things would work out. Regardless as to how I handle myself, some people just won't like me. Sure, it still stings but I'm better for it.

Okay, three things I know for certain, the third is, I NEED my devotional time daily to be a good person. To be happy, to be polite, to be less irritable, and to walk in love. To diddo a bit from my photo blog, my gift to myself this year is going to be my devotional time. It is the one thing I can do, my prayer closet is the one place I can go, to get filled, to get joy, to be renewed, to be refreshed. The hubs can tell you first hand that if I forgo the prayer closet for a few days, it isn't fun around here! It's my time, it's the one thing I will do for myself daily. And, it's the best gift I can give not only myself but my family too.

My prayer closet is first, keeping my hubby up there at place number two should do miracles to soothe our souls this coming year, and finding a deeper connection with my children. I can do that if I do and only do what God has asked me to do. I refuse to spend another year running around doing things I ought not be doing. This year will be spent focusing on the gifts God has bestowed on me and using them to be a blessing to others. Both of my blogs have been good to me. I have been blessed and from the e-mails and comments I get from blog-land, I know my blog is being used to reach others as well.

I rocked the box I kept myself in, in 2008. In 2009, I'm rocking the box that others have tried to keep me in! Watch out, you may get a splinter!

Year in Review {March}

Well, nothing really profound in my words for March, but my favorite post for the month is when my Nikon Arrived. March is when I purchased my first DSLR and it changed the direction of my life.

It's crazy to know I have only put nine months into my self-taught skills and education and my profile is well under way. It has been both an exciting and a trying year in so many facets. Photography and writing have both served as outlets for me, for my emotions, and for my creativity. Plus, I have some really amazing shots of my family from this year as well. I've grown so much in nine months. I look forward to all the next full year has to bring!

Year in Review {February}

My favorite post in February is A marriage retreat that focused on me?

This was an important gathering for my husband and I. It was where we learned that we love each other profoundly and we are each deeply committed, but, we have been speaking different languages. We still need to finish getting through The Five Love Languages to complete this area because we each give and receive love in different ways.

It was also the time I realized that writing is really where it's at for me, for this season. It reaffirmed our belief that we will one day be part of some type of ministry down the road. And, it was also the beginning of what would become a year-long lesson and theme in my life.

"A little lesson I've learned in this whole process (the thing that completes my circle) is that who I am, my worth, my value is not measured in someone else’s opinion of me, or even my own opinion. My worth is determined by how God sees me and according to his word I am a new creation, I am righteous (he sees me as an example of his righteousness), faithful, etc. Though there may not currently be outward evidence of it, His word has the power to perform exactly what God says I am! I am complete in Him! Every scripture that reads "in him," or "in Christ" is an example of who I truly am in Christ, how he sees me. There are 130 of them; I'm off to find a few more!"

The above paragraph led me to find many scriptures over this year that helped me claim revelation and insight as to how Jesus sees me, feels about me, and just how important I am to him. I'm sure as you continue with me my year in review you'll easily discover how hard the Lord has worked to teach me this year. I'm still a work in progress, I'm not there yet. But, I have certainly learned many valuable life lessons this year. Some I continue to work on, others were hardcore-only-need-to-go-through-that-once, kind of lessons and I won't be repeating those mistakes!

I'll leave you with the scripture that I have clung to this year...
Romans 12:2 NLT
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

A year in review and I hit 100 posts!

This will actually make 102! Wow! Well, it's Christmas Eve. My favorite day of the year. Family, food, old family tradition, the sparkle of a child's eye, romance, laughter, fond memories, missed loved ones, and this year, a white ground full of deep, deep, snow.


I wanted to take some time to look back on where I've been this year and pull out my favorite posts, one from each month. My favorite from January '08 is my first. The photos are downright dreadful compared to how much I've grown this year. Still, they are some of my favorites. They mark how much I've grown and in so many ways this year.


In January, I knew I was beginning a new trend for my life. A new road. I had no idea in January just where that road would lead me in the months ahead. Months of rain. Hardcore, thunderstorm, hurricane, type rain. But, as I look back on the past twelve months and consider the challenges, stages, and phases, I know my grass is greener. I am stronger. I have a friendship with Jesus. I have a more intimate relationship with Him. I am more mature. I have been refined in the fire.


I'm looking forward to the journey I'll take over the next two weeks or so as I read my own blog, all 100 posts from my first year. I hope this will serve as a nice summary for those that are new to my blog and a tender reminder for those who have been along for the ride since day 1.


To my blog friends, those I've not yet met in person, thank you for your e-mails, comments, kind words, and especially your prayers this year. You have seen me through the toughest season of my life! For my friends and family that know me personally, I also want to thank you for the tremendous support you have also been this year. It is due to many of you that I have been shaped into the person I am today. For the first time in my life, I like me for me, more than ever before.


Here is my favorite January '08 post: http://findingmyplaceinthisworld.blogspot.com/2008/01/new-year-new-outlet.html


I want to close with a big Merry Christmas to you all! Take a minute, regardless to how well you know Him, and thank Jesus for his birth, for what came of his future, and all he has done and will continue to do for all of us! My favorite Christmas song, which I cannot get through without a good ole' ugly cry! And, my favorite Christmas image so far.

Merry Christmas!

Here in the grand state of Michigan we are getting hammered with snow; 1-3" every hour to be exact. So all the kiddos are home from school and won't be returning until after the new year. I'm looking forward to having the kids and the hubs home from work/school for a couple of weeks but I can also feel the cabin fever coming on. I'm sure there will be lots of sledding going on, especially at Grandma's on Sunday.

As Christmas approaches and the year winds down I am ever so grateful. I'm really looking forward to this coming week. I have lunch and dinner dates with sweet friends. Sunday will be shared at my mother-in-laws where we'll be cooking and getting ready for Christmas Eve, eating some divine mexican food prepared by my sister-in-law, and celebrating my nieces 12th birthday. They grow up so fast!

We always share Christmas Eve with family at my mother-in-laws house where the table always overflows with all things Polish. And, everything from the sides, to the main dish, to dessert is always made from scratch. If your eating an old family favorite, especially if it was a favorite of Lana's you'll find a dash of tears as well. We will always miss her and never forget just how truly gorgeous she was both inside and out.

As part of our Christmas Eve tradition, we share Oplatek. All people in attendance break bread together. The first year we did this, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It stretched me so far out of my comfort zone, I thought I might get sick. Now, it's definitely one of my favorite things!

So in the spirit of family, good friends, and good food, I wish you and yours a very merry Christmas! I am thankful to live in a place where we have the freedom to celebrate Jesus on the day of his birth and each and every day! May his name be glorified this season!

On a bit of a side note, I am thankful for the decision that was press released today regarding the bail-out loan for the automakers. The Lord is my source and provider. But, for so many that don't know him, that don't bring their tithes into the storehouse, and live under the hedge of his protection, they would have been ruined. I am grateful for the hundreds of thousands of families who have just received God's grace. I pray that seeds and revelation be sewn into their lives so they know God is their source and provider and he just saved a whole bunch of booties!

Writer's Workshop

Okay MaMa Kat is at it again with her Writer’s Workshop. This week the prompt I chose is Describe a “new road” you’ve taken in your life.

Well, let’s see growing up I was a pretty good kid for the most part, I could be trusted, aka I didn’t get caught! No really, I was a good kid. Then I came home drunk for the first time at age fifteen, got arrested for shoplifting not too much farther down the path from that incident. Turned sixteen, got pregnant, and attended a garden variety of hotel parties along the road between my sixteenth birthday and said pregnancy. I had said child at age seventeen. Had my parent’s sign away their rights as parents about that time so I could get married. At age seventeen in Michigan your parents must provide signed consent in order for you to get a marriage license. Married in August of 1995 and lived the most horrific and tumultuous year of my entire life. It’s okay, my husband would agree with me on just how badly it sucked. So last week when I said that God chooses to use those that the world would consider garbage, yeah, um, I fit.

The hubs I often refer to in my blog is the one and only hubs, he decided that if the first year was that bad, it could only get better, right? Yes, he is the father of all five of my children as well. No, we didn’t use fertility treatments. Yes, perfect strangers do find it perfectly acceptable to inquire within. Really! There is nothing better than standing in line at Wal-Mart and the old lady behind you just has to know why in God’s name I have so many children and is it even possible to have convinced one man to father them all. Certainly, I had to of abused God’s laws and gave birth to genetic freaks or something. God forbid people actually fall in love, figure out how to re-fall-in-love and cohabitate!

Moving on, I worked full-time until after our third child was born. I was always good at whatever it was I put my hand to, pretty successful, and people liked me. I gradually became overwhelmed with guilt taking my kids to daycare every day and the expense of having three of them in daycare everyday soon became non-value-added. So the first major path I took in my life was deciding to be a stay-at-home mom. It has taken me about seven years to grow into this role! Uh, it didn’t come naturally. I wasn’t good at it, and you know what, people here didn’t really always like me either.

I’ve always run a pretty tight ship. I keep things organized, and have a no-bone- about-it kind of attitude. Okay, so I’m not nurturing and I’m a clean freak. But, when it comes to friendships, my ambitions, and meeting new people I have always stood in my own way. I was a shy person most of my life, lacked confidence in a real severe way, and I was a big, giant, people-pleasing, pushover.

A co-worker of my husband’s saw a handful of snapshots I had taken of my kiddos. Well, apparently, I have the “eye” for photography, a gift. This works out real well because as soon as I caught one glimpse of a photo blog, I had to have it! So I picked up my first digital SLR this year and worked my butt off. I’ve gained an obscene amount of knowledge as it relates to photography, composition, lighting, metering, etc. I’ve seen many a 2:00 in the morning and sacrificed a lot of time away from my husband and kids to get to where I am now.
I have grown a thicker layer of skin. I have been forced way outside my comfort zone; my box is almost non-existent now. I wanted to throw up all over my first couple of clients. I was so nervous. Now, I love meeting new people. I love getting to know them through the process. I often leave my sessions feeling like friend with my clients.

I have wanted to quit countless times. I refuse to let myself get halfway into anything and just quit though. I am going to see this through to the end. In return, God has blessed all things that I have put my hand to. I expected to have a photo blog riddled with images of my children because I sucked and no one would want to pay me for anything I could produce. But, God has blessed me with creativity, with skills, with a natural talent, and he has brought people out of every direction. I have had a steady flow of clients since the spring and I am truly blessed!
This road has been marked with suffering and struggles, with effort, with sleepless nights, and with countless thoughts of self deprivation. But, mostly, it has been marked with growth. Not just growth in the area of my skills but growth in who I am as a person. Somewhere along the line, I picked myself up off the ground. I wiped off the dirt from the front side and the shoe tracks from the backside and decided I know who I am, I know who I want to be, and I’m going to get there!

I have discovered a new sense of confidence. I have begun to love and accept myself. I have learned to resist battling everything that goes wrong with every person it goes wrong with. I have learned to forgive and love them anyway. I am in the process of learning to forgive myself. I have gained much and overcame much on this new road. Christ is the center of it all. He is author of my gifts and talents. He is my Lord and Savior. He is my forgiver. He is my restorer. He is my refuge, my peace, and my strength.

You are not in control, get used to it...

"Not until we embrace God's sovereignty will we have the ability to reason our way through life theologically. Until then, we will be too important in the plan. Man's opinion will be too significant to us. And, we will churn and wrestle and struggle our way through the Christian life. Trying too hard to please people rather than living it relieved and relaxed in His plan." Taken from the book Mystery of God's Will by Charles Swindoll.

Sovereignty means God is in control. This is His life, His will, His plan, His world, and we are His people. Until we realize that we do not have sovereignty, we are not in control over us, we will not live in peace. We need to realize that we are not the ruler over our lives but that we were created to surrender it to His plan and trust Him. We need to realize that we are not in control of, nor can we change people. We also need to realize that until we purpose ourselves to live an obedient life to Christ, we will be people pleasers.

Being a people pleaser causes us to agree to things that there is no grace for. It causes an overcrowded schedule. It causes us to second guess certain things about ourselves. It causes us to harbor unforgiveness toward ourselves when we fail to please someone around us. My previous blog came from being too concerned with what others think of me. It is a three-fold thing for me. I am concerned with how others around me perceive me. I have learned this week that this way of thinking is bondage and I'm gettn' free! A portion of it was directed toward my husband because I know I've missed it with him on many occasions. I was angry, in part, with him because I can't live up to his expectations. He is seeking more right now than what I am capable of giving. Finally, I'm angry with myself because I know I'm not meeting his needs. It's sad when you feel like a continual failure, especially when 9 times out of 10 it is due to selfishness. My husband has always believed that people get defensive in certain situations because they feel guilty. I got angry with him because I know I'm failing in certain areas and frankly, I don't want to be reminded by his sad eyes.

When I first came to terms with our housing situation I had a friend tell me over and over to, well, get over myself because Jesus bought and paid for it all. he paid the price for my past. I actually didn't keep in contact with her because I wasn't sure about her beliefs and doctrine.

Philippians 3:12-16 NLT 12 I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to posses that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. 15 Let us all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. 16 But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.

In verse 12 Paul is saying I'm not there, I'm not perfect. In verse 13 he is saying but his focus is on one thing, forgetting the past! In verse 15, he is saying that if you want to spend your life dwelling on the past and beating yourself up, you are spiritually immature. In verse 16 he is saying, I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. Acknowledge the progress you have already made. Whoo hoo! That's good news people. So if I want to spend my time questioning God's promises, wondering whether he really forgives, and beating myself up, I'm being immature and wasting time. It takes a lot of faith to ask God to forgive you once, receive it, and move on.

Furthermore, God chooses to use people that the world would consider garbage. My value is not measured in what others think of me or even what I think of me. It is measured in what God thinks of me.

I am loved by God and He gave his one and only Son for me. (John 3:16)
I am a new creation in Christ; the old has gone and the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I have peace with God. (Romans 5:1) The Holy Spirit lives in me. (1 Corinthians 3:16) I have access to God's wisdom. (James 1:5)
I am helped by God. (Hebrews 4:16) I am reconciled to God. (Romans 5:11)
I am not condemned by God. (Romans 8:1)
I have Christ's righteousness. (Romans 5:19; 2 Corinthians 5:21)
I am completely forgiven. (Colossians 1:14)
I am tenderly loved by God. (Jeremiah 31:3)
I am the sweet fragrance of Christ to God. (2 Corinthians 2:15)
I am a temple in which God dwells. (1 Corinthians 3:16)
I am blameless and beyond reproach. (Colossians 1:22)
I am the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)
I am the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)
I am a branch on Christ's vine. (John 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend. (John 15:5)
I am chosen by Christ to bear fruit. (John 15:16)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him. (Romans 8:17)
I am a member of Christ's body. (1 Corinthians 12:27) I am a saint. (Ephesians 1:1)
I am hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3)
I am chosen by God, holy and dearly loved. (Colossians 3:12)
I am a child of the light. (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
I am holy, and I share in God's heavenly calling. (Hebrews 3:1)
I am sanctified. (Hebrews 2:11)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house. (1 Peter 2:5)
I am firmly rooted and built up in Christ. (Colossians 2:7)
I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me. (1 John 5:18)
I have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

And the list goes on.... Not only are each of those verses about who I am in Christ, they are about who you are in Christ, as long as HE is Lord of your life!