Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Defining Moment Part II

I'm praying for opportunity and boldness to share with this couple what is on my heart for them. My husband and I are not professional counselors but we are professionals at our marriage (as long as God is first). We have both felt a calling on our lives to someday serve in a ministry for couples. It is my prayer that we be used in any way possible to help couples learn to build a Godly foundation to prepare them for trials (there will always be trials) so they cleave to each other, bunker down, and wait out the storm instead of being ripped apart.

Before moving on from a defining moment or disappointment each mate needs to decide which direction they want to go in. Granted, this isn't the best time to make major decisions regarding your future with gaping holes in your heart. Said couples should look at it this way. You are going to endure every emotion related to the offense, regardless. You are going to feel hurt, your heart is going to ache, you will experience anger, depending on the offense you may experience distrust, more hurt, disappointment, more anger, anger, anger, oh and anger. If you decide to commit to working it out there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it isn't an oncoming train. It may seem like it in the moment but really it's peace, I promise. Okay Jesus promises, take His word. But, should you decide to break it instead of make it, you're now faced with a whole new set of hurts, anger, disappointment, anger, much more anger, much more hurt. You're already broken-hearted. Why not choose to heal and move forward together instead of what seems like the easy road at the time and quit. I can't say I speak from personal experience about quitting (only running) but I would imagine that in the long run, it's much more difficult.

Moving on...God loves each mate. He forgives you both if you ask and receive by faith. He doesn't choose sides. When your heart is broken, His is broken. He feels your pain. His heart aches. He counts every tear. The love we feel in our hearts for other people is only a smidge of what He feels for us. If your a mother or father, doesn't it just make you ache when your child is hurt? Multiply that one-million plus fold and you're still just touching the ice berg of what Jesus feels for us. God IS love, it isn't something he does, it's WHO HE IS. He loves you. We all need a revelation of that.

My first step before doing anything. Before making any decisions, would be to pick up a copy of three books. The bible, The Power of a Praying Wife, and The Power of a Praying Husband. You'll need your bible to check the scripture in the books for accuracy. I own them both, the scriptures are accurate but it's good practice. Don't even brush on the subject of whatever offense has occurred. Just read the book. Each couple read the appropriate version. Pray the prayers; do what it says. Don't read it in one night! Read a chapter a day. When you get to the end you'll have a better idea of where each of you stand. By the end of the book, you both will be different. God will use the prayers and the scriptures to speak to you both regarding what he/she does to contribute to the success and failure of your marriage AND what YOU do to contribute to the success and failure of your marriage. You will both be changed by the end of the books. Perhaps, forgiven and forgiving trespasses against you.

Psalm 68:35
O God, You are more awesome than Your holy places. The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Blessed be God!

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

5 drops of sunshine:

Erica said...

I told Kevin I wanted to go and buy a bible the other day and he just said "well don't be pushing that on me". I told him I wouldn't and when he's ready to let me know. I'm not going to force him to do anything he's not ready for.

MoziEsmé said...

Erica's point brings up the question - what do you do when one party wants to make things work but the other doesn't?

You have some good advice in what you've written - I think you'd be great at helping other couples!

Wendi said...

I have a copy of "The Power of a Praying Wife" and have read it a couple of times. It has been about 3 years since I have read it though and this post encouraged me to do so once again.
Praying for eachother throught the tough times is an amazing healer isn't it?

Kari Dawson said...

Pray! It's all you can do. In a marriage it's almost a guantee that one will be high when the other is low and even when one spouse just flat out has down right quit. It doesn't matter. Surrender it all to God, pray, stay in Faith. The power of prayer and the power of God are all consuming!

Erica said...

I just went to the library last week and checked out " The Power of a Praying Wife". I'm reading it one chapter at a time and I love it so far.