Thursday, July 24, 2008


I wanted to start this blog out with the song Legacy performed by Nicole Nordeman.

Why do I live my life the way I do. Why do I strive to be the best possible mother, wife, person, christian possible?

Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.

Not only am I leading a life by example for my children, I am creating a legacy for them to walk in long after I'm gone.

Exodus 20:5 You shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

My sin affects my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and their children. Ever wonder why alcoholism, domestic violence, and other sin runs in families? Many of us are fighting generational battles that we never asked for. But, if I am faithful, love God, and am obedient to Him, he will pour out mercy to 1,000 generations! Taking the road of sin is easier, it's easy to give into our flesh. Taking the road to walk in love is much harder but the benefits are huge.

Joyce Meyer said three things in the teaching I watched today that touched me:
- We know how to do church together but we don't know how to do life together. Wow! How many people in your congregation show up and insist everything is perfect, only to hear the testimony of the storm God brought them through six months later? Why don't we fellowship better, why don't we lean on each other?
- We need to put more time into relationships and fellowship.
- We need to put more time into our children.

Those three statements sum up exactly where I'm at in my walk. I know to read and pray daily and keep my nose in His word. I know why. But now I'm stuck on Joyce's three points. I need better fellowship and stronger relationships and I need to have more quality time and build stronger relationships with my children and not focus so much on keeping them busy with activities and having fun. My family has a solid foundation and I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who is my best companion and friend. But when it comes to enduring trials together we can only lean on and uplift each other so much.

I am aware of my needs and looked to friends of mine to fill those needs and when they fell short I was hurt and angry and resentment built toward them. I took my offenses to them and expressed my hurt in what I thought was a loving way. I fell a bit short of loving and allowed my flesh to sneak in and unintentionally offended them in the process. We have since worked things out but I'm still left feeling a little misunderstood.

I may appear on the outside to walk on both sides of the fence but the truth is in God's presence I find myself. When I write my blog I express my true self, who I was designed to be. But, I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I sin. I'm not two different people. I'm a woman of God filled with his Holy Spirit who also still has to battle her own flesh. I don't just say I'm a woman of God. I am. I don't just say I'm a christian. I am. I don't just say I sin. I do. I don't just say I'm forgiven. I am. Is there still that wild seed inside of me that wants to indulge and be fun and outgoing and blend with the crowd, absolutely. I don't have double standards, I make mistakes. The point is I am working toward denying those indulgences as I grow stronger in Him.

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin''
I'm whispering "I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say.. "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain..
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

I came upon this in my little His Princess book today and wish I'd seen it a few days previous.

My Princess...
Choose Your Battles

Every day can be a fight for something or with someone if you so choose. I want you, My princess warrior, to choose your battles wisely, and fight for the things worth fighting for. There are so many things that stand against you in the battlefield, and there are so many worthy causes. But the enemy of your soul will entice you to fight the wrong battles in order to distract you from your main mission. Remember, My beloved, your fight is not against flesh and blood, but against evil forces in the spiritual realm. When you find yourself in the midst of a war, do not be afraid. Call on Me in prayer and allow Me to deliver you. In My timing, I will give you the victory and bring justice to the afflicted. So don't waste your time fighting the wrong battles. And never forget that the spiritual war is fought - and won - on your knees.

Your Warrior King

Now that doesn't mean my friends are my enemies or that God is going to "deal" with them. It just simply means I should have continued to walk in love, forgiven their unintentional hurt, and taken my hurt to the throne. Jesus never would have walked up to Peter and expressed his hurt for denying him. What greater pain could one endure than that of Jesus being denied by his disciple and of so many that he loves since? In all that I do, I want people to leave my presence and think "that's what Jesus is like."

0 drops of sunshine: