The hubs and the daddy

I have a journal I picked up at the Christian book store before Christmas titled Closer to Your Husband and since I totally skipped over Valentine's Day I'd like to share a recent entry.

The prompt for this particular day was regarding conversation and couldn't have come at a better time. It is truly my belief that a coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. In other words, there are no coincidences.

2/19/09
I have come to realize that our communication and how easy it is to talk to each other has always been what bonds us together. It is something I have taken for granted but I have a fresh perspective now and truly know how vital conversation is to our marriage. Talking and wearing our hearts on our sleeve really does connect us in a profound way. It deepens our love. It forms strength, love, trust, and intimacy. It allows us to share our faults, short-comings, and insecurities. It allows us to take that vulnerability and display trust, support, unconditional love, and reassurance. I can't recall a time when I've shared an insecurity or opened my heart to you and you disappointed me or weren't careful with my heart.

Lord, help me to always have in the forefront of my mind the importance of communication. Help me to always know that my husband is gentle, forgiving, kind, and empathetic. That I can trust him with my feelings, thoughts, dreams, and fears. Help me to always be vulnerable, open, and honest. To trust my heart to my husband. Help me to be patient, kind, caring, empathetic, and attuned to Todd's needs as well. Conversation does reveal the inner person and I pray Lord that you continue to use our conversations to unite us, to create trust, safety, comfort, and intimacy. Amen!

Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. Proverbs 8:6 NIV

It's easy when you first meet someone to never run out of things to talk about. Everything is new, fresh, and exciting. You are drawn to that person and want to uncover and savour every detail. Sustaining that excitement, that interest, and that desire, and level of intimacy can become a challenge. Balancing each other's needs with work, family, and community commitments is also a challenge.

For Todd and I it's been an interesting journey. He was raised in a home where he and his mom talked about everything and in my home we all found sharing our feelings much more difficult. It wasn't a safety zone for me. And although I've come a long way through the example Todd has set, I still find it easy to revert back to my own ways. Our personalities are also not defined as most men and woman would be. The hubs is more like the attention craving poodle in the home. He likes to have his ego stroked and well, he likes to be pet. What can I say? He requires physical touch and words of affirmation. That's just how the Lord shaped him. It's been challenging for me to express my love for him in a way that he receives it when it is so outside of my comfort box. But, he has been patient and kind. He discovered a way to meet my needs long before I even knew what my needs were and he's wonderful to me in every possible way. Neither of us would have been able to find our way to this place or overcome as much as we have without finding a way to fight fair, communicate, and of course tons of the Lord's grace and mercy.

I adore my man and he adores me. I miss him when he's at work or school and can't sit next to him without touching. I love holding his hand, rubbing his bald head, and when he squeezes me so hard it hurts. I loved being out last week with Mallory and Hailey last week for their birthday and the number of times the three of us said "daddy." He's not just a presence in our home. The one that creates and enforces the rules. The one who works then contributes nothing. He is my rock, my best friend, my biggest fan, my lover, and the greatest listener. But, not only is he wonderful to me but he is their "daddy."