Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mother's Day

May 11, 1995 is the day my son was born, a Thursday. I don't have to look it up. I'll just always remember it was Thursday. He is our first born. We weren't yet married. I was only seventeen, hadn't yet graduated high school, and my now husband was only nineteen. Tyler was born in May, I graduated high school with honors in June, and we were married in August. May 11th wasn't Mother's Day that year but I'm certain it was no coincidence that the day my son turned thirteen, his birthday would fall on Mother's day.

Saturday night I cried as I wrote to him in his new "Teenage" bible we had purchased for his birthday. Sunday morning, I cried as he opened it. This day was so many things to me. I cried not because my baby is thirteen. Well, sort of because my baby is thirteen. But more because of the fact that he has left childhood. He is no longer a boy. He is now on an incredible journey to finding himself. He is about to enter the most difficult years of his life. He is about to discover who this God is that we have taught him about and determine if God is "his" God or just his parent's God. I also cried because I am so incredibly grateful for the presence God has always had in our lives. For his grace and mercy, for his faithfulness, for the place we are today. Especially compared to where we started. We may have started backward, but our life is a living testimony to what God can do if you put him first.

My husband and I are coming up on our thirteenth wedding anniversary! We are both even more in love now then ever before. As we each grow closer to the Lord the level of love and joy in our lives increases exponentially. We have been blessed with five healthy, happy, beautiful children who also love the Lord so much. I am blessed with every smile, giggle, hug, bruise, scrape, and even the arguments and spatters. I am blessed each time they show love and affection toward each other. Tyler recently had his front teeth collide with a boy's head at one of Faith's softball games. She told me after the game, she wanted to cry because she was concerned for him. When it really counts, when they are tested, they come together. That is a bond that God's love has helped us to form in our home.

Another even more important aspect of Mother's Day that I appreciated this year is the way my relationship with my mom has blossomed. When I was growing up my older cousin lived with us much of the time and she was the one I confided in. After I was married, my relationship with my mother-in-law developed which became another barrier between my own mom and I. My mother-in-law became my friend. But through circumstances I learned that certain people in your life need to stay within certain parameters. So in recent months I began to avoid the advice and help of both my mom and mother-in-law and make my own decisions and stand on my own two feet. I found strength in myself. More importantly, it has allowed me to require a need to rely on Jesus. Because I take my circumstances to Him and depend on Him to bring about change and seek his advice I was able to take that expectation off of my mother and mother-in-law and also prevent unsolicited advice. Well, for the most part. I am now able to focus my attention to those relationships differently. I accept that my mom did the best she could in raising me and did all that she knew to do. Are there things I would have done differently? Sure. But, I am who I am because of the way I was raised. God didn't make a mistake, he ordained her to be my mother. Now, she is not only my mother but she is my friend. That is something I searched for most of my life. We have a connection and bond that we've never had before. We have so much fun together and laugh so much. It is a true joy to spend time with her and my father both. I am blessed! I am so very blessed!

Philippians 3:16 But we must hold onto the progress we have already made.

I'm not across the finish line yet and won't be before the day I go home to Jesus. This is a life long race. There are goals along the way. In the mean time we must look back at where God has brought us from.








3 drops of sunshine:

Wendi said...

Precious! Oh how incredible this mothering journey is. We bring these amazing and dependant tiny people into the world than give them roots and wings. I think I will always be in awe...

Becoming Me said...

I found your blog through Wendi's site (Isn't she the greatest?) and I am so glad I came for a visit. Happy birthday to your son. I enjoyed reading about your family.

Leslie said...

awesome day, to celebrate your son and you, and how far your whole family has come. Love the photos too...