A few of my favorite things...

Well in honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, the heir of being thankful, and feeling blessed, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite things. A few things that cause me to pause, take a deep breathe, and appreciate the small things.

snugglebugs
a 4-year-old that wants to marry the "hot" boy Dominic at school. For real! This makes me both giggle and panic!
the smell of cold, yet not the feel of cold
the smell of skunks and coffee
a perfect mocha for breakfast and after dinner too, why not.
chai tea
looking forward to a full polish meal tomorrow along with some pumpkin pie and probably a glass of Kahlua, so rich and yummy!
fire in the fireplace
an upcoming celebration with friends
single friends that are now married friends
kids who get great grades
twins that adore each other
a clean house
a to do list that has nearly everything crossed off
some holiday shopping with the hubs today
spending a gift card I got for my birthday
getting a good deal
I'm super excited to buy the gifts I know will surprise my kids and make their eyes sparkle too
a secret gift for mom
a much needed break from a busy photographic season
family photos
daily devotions
connecting with bloggy friends
healing from prior hurts
remembering past holidays in the old house and not shedding a single tear
ahhhh! the comfort of healing and peace
knowing the Lord is in control
His presence
laughter, lots of laughter
flowers the hubs brought home from the grocery store, even though, I should have been the one apologizing
it's a feel good day, a feel good season, and Jesus is the reason for the season!

Bring the Rain Part IV

The tail end of Hebrews began to cover the idea that we need to combine our faith with action. We need to read God's word and be obedient to it as well. As I continue to read on from Hebrews into James this idea, this lesson, only becomes more clear. I'm not sure how any person can sit and read through the bible and not know there is a God. How can one book that I believe to have been written by Paul so easily lead into the teaching from James? Because, the Lord is the author! I'm in awe of his many facets and talents and how a giant puzzle that makes no sense can be pulled together and all in the perfect timing of when I/we need it. Wow!



As I grapple with the idea of forgiving a friend for a very painful event and trying to forge ahead to somehow save what is left of our friendship at the same time, my direction comes from James.



James 2:12 So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.



First of all, let me point out that it doesn't say if he judges you, it says when. We will all be judged, even believers. I have been accused of being judgemental or "riding a high horse." One thing I want to clarify is that I do not pass judgement on this friend or any person based on their actions or the things they do with their lives. I know all too well that I will be judged as well. I have no place pointing the finger or throwing stones at others when I am fully aware of my own faults and sins. Even more so, the bible promises that those who do judge will be judged greater! I've got enough that I need to answer for, I really don't need to make it worse by adding to it by worrying about someone elses faults, actions, or mistakes. I wish I could say that I'm perfect and I never look at a person and draw my own conclusions. But, I can't, I'm not perfect.



Not only am I not passing judgement on this friend for this situation or any situation, I am offering mercy. I am offering forgiveness. I remember the condition of my heart, mind, and soul before I surrendered to Jesus. I was lonely, suffering, tormented, and angry. I was and still do struggle with anger. Now, I'm not accusing this friend of feeling lonely or tormented or anything of the like. I can only assume because even Christians are lonely. Even Christians get hurt, feel betrayed, get angry, and feel sad. We will never be truly fulfilled on this earth, it isn't our final place. None of us will feel completely fulfilled until we reach eternity in heaven with Him.



James 2:14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don't show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone?



James 2:17 So you see, faith by itself isn't enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.



James 2:19-22 You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can't you see that faith without good deeds is useless? Don't you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete.



I provided the previous scriptures as a baseline just to talk about James 2:22 His actions made his faith complete.



Now my friend and a few others can attest to this. In previous times of misunderstanding I would fly off the handle in anger, pointing fingers, accusing, and making excuses for my own actions. My faith is very important to me. Doing the right thing, being obedient to God, and doing what he would do is very important to me. This current situation has been building for some time. I have forgiven each time I was hurt, each time I felt betrayed as others would relay to me things that she had said and/or done. I didn't go running back and demand an explanation or an apology. I just forgot it and went on loving. I was only trying to put my faith into action. Though there were others that told me I was merely behaving like a doormat. So I tried to behave like a servant but didn't fully understand all that meant. I was still asking myself "what about me, what about my needs, why aren't you there for me, and how can you say or think that about me, do I mean anything to you at all?" But, being a servant is one-sided. My purpose here is not to collect people to serve my needs. My purpose here is to be a servant to those people.



I a reminded of scriptures that speak of Jesus being a servant. Mark 10:45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.



(The next few words are a synopsis from a teaching from sermonnotebook.org)



Love of a humble servant: John 13:1 This verse talks about Jesus knowing his ministry on earth was coming to an end. That he loved his disciples during his ministry on earth and now he loved them to the very end. Jesus knows he was about to be put through a torturous death and yet he was overcome with love for them, unconditional, eternal love. He knew before the betrayal that he would be betrayed, yet, he still loved unconditionally! Forgave even before he was betrayed.



You can read the rest of the sermon here: http://sermonnotebook.org/new%20testament/John%2013_1-20.htm



My point is, I'm at a place in my life now where regardless as to what I have to gain or lose by sharing my life with those I love, I will love them and be there for them regardless. I am not going to try and settle every score or even discuss with the people why they do certain things. Sure, I have questions. I'd love to know why so-and-so said this and why so-and-so did that but that is my purpose here. The bible talks about in John:13 during the Passover meal how Jesus washes the feet of his disciples. He put himself in the most humble of positions to demonstrate his unconditional love for these people. Jesus calls us to do the same. To serve others. To share his love with those around us at all costs so that they might one day find the truth and surrender to Jesus. Our whole existence is for the sake of the gospel. Getting as many souls as possible into the realm of heaven where we were created to be, with Him for eternity in his presence.



I may be the only source of God's love that may friend will ever see. I lay down my feelings and my hurts and forgive. It is what Jesus would do to share his love. It is what he does for me daily to share his love with me. I truly want the very best for my friend. I have in recent weeks spoken many loving words over her and I meant every single word of it. She will always hold a special place in my heart. I will always think of her and pray for her. If and when a time should come that she has need of me for anything, I will be there. It is my purpose in this life to worship my Lord. It is my purpose to allow him and his word to renew my mind. To be made more in his image every day. To allow his love that resides within me to overflow onto those around me. If I weren't full of him, full of his word, full of his love, I wouldn't be able to proceed this way. I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue and resist trying to defend myself, my reputation. I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to demand and explanation. This is the time in my life where I finally can say I have faith. I truly do believe in what I say I believe in. So much so that I will lay down my flesh and do the right thing. Do good deeds. Show mercy, love, and forgiveness. I can honestly say at this moment I have no hard feelings, only peace, love, and hope for a future that is bright for her. I have tried to my core to be the best, honest, loyal, giving, and supportive person I can possibly be. I can't even begin to fathom how that got twisted but it must have. I just pray that blinders be removed and the truth be revealed. That my intentions, my pure motivations, my heart, and my love for her be shown in truth.



I would love to call and talk it out but I'm certain it will only mean excuses and say to each other only what we think the other wants to hear. So, I am in the process of prayerfully writing a letter. Not one where I will attempt to defend my name. There is nothing to defend. Not one where I make excuses. There is nothing to make excuses for. But, one where I try to explain that it is as if none of it ever happened. I don't care how or why. I'm drawing a line in the sand. Hopefully not one that separates us but one that separates the bad from the good, with both of us standing on the side of the good, together. In a way, some things will never be the same. But my love and loyalty to her will never change.



In closing, what was really a super long post divided into sections, two songs come to mind. The first is Love Is Not a Fight. Love is not a fight but worth fighting for. May the angels always keep the doors barred when either of us tries or wants to quit. Todd, you're stuck with me for eternity! You were created just for me! The second song is Call My Name by Third Day who has to be one of my favorite bands. This is a song I can certainly still relate to from time to time. It's purpose today is for those who haven't yet surrendered. You wander in sadness, loneliness, and pain. There is a savior for you. There is relief. You have a place in his arms and he longs for you to be with him. He loves you! Just call his name. The sweet name of Jesus. Maybe you aren't without love but still something is missing. Peace still evades you. Jesus is the cure. I know it once sounded ridiculous to me. We often say and hear "Jesus saves." You won't understand all those two words truly mean until you have a revelation of his love for you in your life. "Saves" doesn't even begin to articulate what he does for us. But, it is what he does in every capacity, in every area, in every facet possible he saves us. Call his name. Whisper it even, Jesus. Every hair on your head is counted and every tear caught by his loving hand. Jesus.

Bring the Rain Part III

I left off yesterday in an spot where I feel like, according my flesh anyway, I have a right to my feelings and a right to decide to no longer subject myself to continual hurt. But, there is always this part of me that asks what Jesus would do. I know certainly he wouldn't fold his arms and go stomping off like a two-year old. I know for certain he wouldn't retaliate, seek revenge, or point blame. But, what would he do? I know for certain he would forgive. But after forgiveness, does he continue to befriend one that he knows will betray him again in the end? In at least one instance, the answer is yes. So is that what what I do? I'm certain I dropped subtle hints regarding my lack of happiness over the situation which means a conversation will have to be had. How do I communicate my feelings without causing offense? Should I have to? The first part is easy, forgive. Okay done, check that one off the list. But, how to proceed then. Is there a way to combine all of God's truths and sort things in a loving way without offending? I would like to have one of those to go then please. Anyway, moving on...


Okay, now I'm just going to list a few things that give me hope and make me feel better.


James 1:12 God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

And imagine my astonishment when I read Hebrews 1: 13 after learning last week that the very thing that Satan tries to do in our lives is bring about crap in our lives that will make us blame and accuse God. It says And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, "God is tempting me." God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else.


I am being tempted in several areas at this time. I'm not being tempted by God but God is allowing me, like Job, to be tested. For so many reasons. To reveal my weaknesses, where I need this presence and divine intervention and so much more.


The rest of my reading in Hebrews is rounded out with a command to be a quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. It continues by advising that we not only read the word and listen to God but that we do it. It isn't enough to read the command "slow to anger." I must read it, get it, understand it, and do it. So here is where the message on Sunday comes in. I love how the Lord just weaves it all together for me. I'm confronted with temptation, how do I overcome it? Like David who took out Goliath by compiling smooth stones and smacking him dead in the forehead with it, I need to create my own pile of stones. Scripture. The scripture I need depends on the temptation. The biggest thing I think God is trying to do in me recently is enhance my patience, learn to control my moods, learn to patiently think things through, pray, process them, and not just jump quickly to anger and react. I need to grab one or two scriptures that will help me overcome this particular temptation of mine and start speaking them aloud, testing the word. I will have to do this with many kinds of temptation while gathering many different kinds of stone and having to test each stone. So when a major battle comes up again, I will have a full satchel of good proven stones in my artillery to combat any situation. Only God can take three completely disjointed circumstances, messages, and lessons and combine them together with one simple direction to answer all three. Find the scripture you need, meditate on it, and start to speak it aloud. That one little direction will give me all I need, if I do it, to keep my anger in check, grow more patient, forgive others, and prepare me for future temptation and trials.


Back to the situation with Todd for a second. We've come to realize that something regarding our future is brewing. Doors are about to open. Opportunities are waiting. More importantly, what ever it is, God is at work. His hand is over us, over our future, and there is a path ahead that the Lord would like us to pursue. I thought it was one thing but I'm truly getting a sensing that I was totally wrong and it is something all together completely different and I'm completely clueless. But, I do know that when strife starts to stir in my marriage it is Satan's first line of defense. It's his game plan to get our eyes and ears off of what God has coming for us and distract us into something different. In circumstances passed, we'd fall for it, make a wrong move, and figure it out later, after it was too late. This time, we're on to you buster! This foundation isn't shaking and there isn't a move we're making until we are sure it is exactly what God has in mind. So bring on the strife, the rain, and the calamity because what I know is my character and my endurance will be strengthened. My faith will grow. I will obey anyway and in return my family will be blessed. It takes rain to make the grass green, so bring on the rain!

I have some final words on the situation with my friend and how I feel led to proceed. I'll share my direction from the Lord tomorrow and how I plan to try and resolve things with this person as well.

Bring the Rain Part II

I left off yesterday with the notion of forgiveness, so let's continue...

So this is the part where I smile, clenching my teeth and speak like a ventriloquist through my clenched teeth and say, "I forgive you" knowing my ability to endure has grown a touch. Okay, really in the grand scheme of things I do really understand exactly where He is going with this. I understand. I know exactly what I'm supposed to do. Yet, it can be so hard to just let things go. To forgive. So today I will stretch my faith a bit further and proclaim my forgiveness toward this person. I may not feel it now, but in faith I forgive and the feelings will follow.

There are a couple of things I'm taking from this though, one is I'm sure there are things that I unknowingly and/or unintentionally did to hurt this person also. I also understand that the people of this earth are all human. None of us is capable of being all that we need each other to be. People will hurt us. We will have our feelings hurt and we will disappoint others as well. So are we really supposed to just continue to subject ourselves to the hurt that we've come to expect if the source is constant? Is there ever a time when we are allowed to draw a line in the sand? There are times when I often ask a question and follow it with scripture or my opinion but not this time. This time I'm really looking for some advice, preferably biblical. When is enough, enough?

Here is where I'm going with this, 1 Corinthians 12:4-8, these verses are not just for marriage but for every person who loves another. Love is patient, kind, not jealous boastful or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Okay, I think I got my answer actually but I was really hoping for a loop hole here. I have done the whole be patient, kind, not jealous, boastful or rude thing. This person says things to other people and I've had so many of them repeated back to me. I have washed it away, forgotten. I am aware of the scriptures that tell us to forgive, not seek revenge, and not to waive my finger at another and say "but you did this, this, and this." I have heard the words but taken the high road, ignored them, and opted to not get others involved as well. I am aware of so many things that this person has done to betray my trust. This is not about jealousy. It is about lack of trust and lack of loyalty. So if this person has so clearly demonstrated their lack of value for my friendship, then is it okay to fold in the towel? When it comes to my marriage I will hold fast to never giving up, never losing faith, staying hopeful, and enduring all circumstances. But, what about friendships? There is much that has never been discussed because I have tried to uphold my values and forgive and not confront. At this point, I'd like to continue to forgive but no longer put myself out there to have to endure more that I will have to forgive again. I think I'm just going to have to keep praying until I have peace with exactly how to proceed.

The conclusion tomorrow...

Bring The Rain Part I

Today, what I really wanted to do is blast those who have offended me. But, then I open my bible, flip back to Hebrews and find Hebrews 12:14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. And, Hebrews 12:1 which says Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. And slowly, while my mind is still screaming and gripping to anger, the notion of forgiveness starts to seep in. How can I not forgive when I have so freely been forgiven?

And in a way that is now true to God's form with me, he uses circumstances from my own life to demonstrate. So this time, he has recalled to mind a time, well it was Sunday actually, when I behaved like a belligerent idiot (toward my husband). Then he reminds me how the person (Todd) I offended handled it. Then, I repent for both the time I acted like the belligerent idiot (which is the situation where I was needing forgiveness) and for the unforgivenness I've now been harboring for days (which is the situation where I'm supposed to be the forgiver, but not toward Todd, he's great). Following me? In one case, I'm really upset with someone for something they did. In another case, Todd should have been really upset with me for how I treated him. I'm the one needing the forgiveness that I do ultimately receive. This is the part where my husband would typically request I say the following, "My husband is so smart and I should just listen to him." I'm still rolling my eyes though, just like I would if he were here.

Hubby and I had an argument, I lost control, completely. Ridiculously. He gave me space, let me cool off, which is Todd's code for praying that I get a revelation of how wrong I am. Well, the revelation never came so we tried talking it out instead. This went okay, some minor areas of frustration came up and things were almost resolved until, I refused to cave. So we're both back to angry again which is only my attempt to keep him at bay because really, how long can the guy really tolerate me for before he quits on me? Not logical, but it's where my mind goes when things start to get a bit shaky. But, instead of staying angry and providing the hoped for silent treatment, he climbs into bed with me and wraps me in his arms. He tells me "I don't know what else to do but love you." Yes, your hearts can all melt now. I know mine did! Do you know the kind of selflessness and self sacrifice and level of forgiveness that requires? I do, only I've proven to be too stubborn to go there. He loved me, he forgave me, all things are good. Except, that when he gets home tonight, I need to apologize because I never did. Gee, I must sound real appealing by now. You do really get the good, the bad, and the ugly when you visit me here.

So anyway, as the two separate instances begin to play back in my mind, I come upon James. James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Faithfulness

As part of my journey through The Mystery of God's Will by Charles Swindoll, I was struck by two questions: What makes risk so difficult for you? Are you willing to make a major change in your life--assuming that it's the Lord's will? And, here are my responses.

Risk for me is difficult for fear of failure. I'm the oldest child, the only daughter, classic type 'A' personality. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of doing what I think is Christ's prompting and being wrong. And, unfortunately, I have to admit that taking a risk may mean doing something that others in my life won't agree with. So, fear of disappointing others.

Starting a business in photography or pursuing my hobby was a risk. Without the nudging and encouragement from my husband it was a move I never would have made. This often comes as a surprise to people for some reason, but I am the shyest person on the planet. What on earth would a person like me be doing in a business where I have to meet new people all the time, get to know them in a few short sentences, feel easy with them, and make them feel easy with me so I can capture intimate moments, family memories, etc.? My first few sessions, prayer was all that got me through. It was either test God to carry me, make my mouth move, and stop shaking or throw up on my clients. As much as I truly love what I do. I love the artistic and creative aspect of it and although I do even like meeting new people, it's tough for me. My personality has been stretched and super-sized in a few short months. Putting it in the hands of God was my only option.

Then there were always the questions I'd torture myself with: what if they don't like me, what if I take all bad shots, what if they hate them anyway, what if I forget what I'm doing. But, somehow God always saw me through. From hello, it's showtime and I'm fine.

It's been a crazy ride too. I didn't know how long it would take for me to begin to build a portfolio and then to receive phone calls from strangers who actually wanted to book me because they love my work. In truth, I'm not even through my first year yet. God has truly shown up, proven he is who he says he is and he does what he says he will do. I am blessed.

As a general rule, the difficulty with risk is failure. Making the wrong choice, doing the wrong thing, messing up, or disappointing others.

I am absolutely 100% committed to making a major change in my life if I know it's the Lord's will. I think I have already done so. I was my own biggest barrier and God managed to get me, out of my own way. If he can my mountain of a self, he can move any mountain. Todd and I have been seeking a major change, waiting for a door to open. We both believe that door will open then we just have to confirm that it's the right door, the one we are supposed to walk through. This new door, even though it is one we are hoping for will come with many blessings but it also will come with more pain and more tough stuff as well. Nothing God ever asks us to do is easy is it? He always manages to stretch us in some capacity. To continue to build our character.

I have owned this book I'm reading for years and I don't find it a coincidence that I've chosen now to read it. Each day of reading is a segway into the next day and it all flows like a big story and the story is weaved between my life, this Charles Swindoll book, the bible, and the decisions that lay ahead.

Yesterday, in my yearly bible I read Hebrews chapter 11. Later while reading my book I underlined this verse, Hebrews 11:6 And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

Yesterdays reading began giving instances of faithful men and woman in the bible who did what they did for God by faith and how he rewarded them. Noah, Abraham, and Sara. And this morning as my reading in Hebrews continued I read about the faithfulness again of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses' parents, Moses himself, the people of Israel who went through the Red Sea and did not drown, Rahab, and the people of Israel who marched around Jericho and made the walls crash down.

God calls his people to a place or a task, he asks something of us. Accomplishing what he has asked of us requires faith. He will often ask us to pull off things that are impossible without him. Our faith is honored by the fulfilling of his promises.

I know that around the corner, I will be called upon to do something. I will have a decision to make and I will have to call upon God to accomplish it. I love it when a good story comes together! Of course, all of this is immediately following a series at church on faith, different kinds of faith, with a full demonstration through the bible of the men and woman who were full of faith, and the different ways their faith was used at different times. God is awesome and crafty!

Changes ahead...

This song was playing in my mind when I woke up this morning. If you don't know Christ, or even if you do, if you aren't consistently seeking his presence then you will never truly know the purpose of this life. The peace. The joy. "My soul must sing." When you know Jesus intimately, your soul must sing. His joy covers your every pour, every cell, and exudes out from within. Even in the midst of a journey that isn't going so well, you find peace and joy. Lots of joy.

My background is different again. I love having options and changing things up, but I wanted to find something that really represented me. I recently gave my friend Christy a gift at her bachelorette party, she is getting married Friday. The card I gave her had this black and white damask print on the front. As soon as she opened the card she knew it was from me. (I'm adjusting to the revelation of my transparency as well). So I thought this background would be fitting.

I'm in the process of creating a new blog for my photoblog on my own domain which will have a custom background and I'm really struggling with which direction I should go in. My new blog has to tie in with the rest of the vision I have for my marketing plan, it all needs to tie together and I'm just having a tough time committing. I know how I will use my marketing plan, but I don't know yet what I want it to look like. I started with chocolate brown and baby blue and really love all things filigree, baroque, and damask as do many of my clients. This style is classic and timeless and can easily be mixed with the modern and contemporary. I began to toil with the idea of black and white and perhaps a touch of a vibrant yellow like my favorite flower, the sunflower, or even a teal type color. But, black and white is just to harsh for me. At the same time, the center of my blog really needs to be black so my images stand out. So whatever I go with, should also coordinate well with black.

I want something that "says" style, class, high fashion, sophistication, glamour, and drama. Something that is vibrant, yet down-to-earth, approachable, fun, and casual. Something that represents who I am, my personal style, and my style as a photographer. I'm looking for colors and patterns that personify who I am but also appeal to my current and future clients as well. So if anyone has any suggestions, please send em' my way!

Moving on. Mallory woke up this morning and told me about a dream she had about our "old house." She wanted to go swimming but she couldn't because "no one was outside to watch her." I guess I must have said that to the kids a lot. This was the first time any of the kids have mentioned the house and it didn't sting and bring tears to my eyes. I told her it was okay to remember the house, we had a lot of fun there and made a lot of memories. We will always remember the house. She then asked "can we get a new house?" I just laughed and said "of course, but it isn't time yet. God is still working on things for us." My answer seemed to please her and it pleased me to know that it no longer hurts. Still ringing in my ears though, "it isn't time yet."

So I'm reading this book by Charles Swindoll about finding the will of God for our lives. My husband and I are praying about making a change in our lives. I won't yet go into the details because the door hasn't yet been opened. But, should it open, we will be considering this change quite seriously.

The trouble is, there are certain things that are outside the will of God for our lives and these are obvious like murder, sexual immorality, judging others, etc. and the list is long. Then, there are things that are clearly defined as being within his will for us such as tithing, giving to others, trusting God, seeking his Kingdom, etc. and that list too is long. On both sides of the coin we will find things that we know we should do and we shouldn't do without having to ask or pray about it. We know because it is written in his word. However, the scripture will not tell us, don't marry Susan, you should buy that house, or this is the college you should attend. So how do we know if these decisions are within the will of God?

We have to be willing to pray and wait. Pray about our options and consider them with common sense, combined with his guidance, then follow the peace. When we are within the perfect will of God in our lives we will find deep peace. Even if the decision defies what our family wants, even if the decision doesn't look like it's going to be easy to pull off, there will be unshakable peace if God is behind the plan. Often times, the very thing that God wants us to do looks bleak to us because God is looking for people to do things that glorify him. God gets the glory when his people pull of something that could have only been done with God's divine intervention. The outside world has to recognize that God was involved. That has risk and uncertainly written all over it. I'm a planner. I like to know exactly where I'm going, what time I'm going to get there, what I'll do and say when I arrive, how long I'll be, etc. So this seeking God thing and agreeing to go before I even know where I'm going is um, challenging. Still, I'm committed and I'll go. I must believe that God is who he says he is and he will do what he says he will do. Plus, if I'm within his will then there is no better place to be. Regardless as to what life has ahead good, bad, painful, easy, no matter what it is, if I accept that it is all part of Gods plan and trust him then it will all be okay.

I was also then reminded of a couple of scriptures. One I gave yesterday.

Mark 4:24 Then he added, "pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given-and you will receive even more.

And the second is one that has been my favorite scripture since January when I came upon it during my process through The Purpose Driven Life.

Romans 12:2 And do not be confirmed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

I like The New Living Translation even better. Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

The closer my walk becomes with Christ, the more secrets he will reveal to me, his will. The decisions he wants me to make will become clearer. The same is true for you too.