Eternity Has Arrived

I abandoned my own blog for a week and have to admit I've not been keeping up with the blogs I typically read either; I have some catching up to do. I've got a lot of projects in the works, my munchkins are all home from school for the week for winter break, and we spent the day with Mallory and Hailey for their birthday on Wednesday. I've said this so many times this week but I thought the day would never come. When they were born, the age of five seemed an eternity away. They've transitioned from being babies to being toddlers and now from being toddlers to being little girls. The pair of them are a couple of the brightest kids I've ever known and there is so much about this time in their lives that I want to remember.

They totally and completely look up to their older sisters and brother without a doubt. They are daddy's girls and Tyler is their hero. They both love everything Faith and Karli love, from High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and The Jonas Brothers, to the silly clapping songs they learn at school that Faith and Karli teach them. They run around the house singing "bang, bang choo- choo train, wind me up, I do my thang..." on and on daily because the big girls do. Faith and Karli have taught them every word to the Taylor Swift hit Romeo and Juliet. I pray daily that they find their Prince Charming and their happily ever after. They said a girl chooses a man like her father so all my girls will be in excellent shape. Their future husbands have big shoes to fill.

They each have their own strengths and their own personalities. Mallory is strong and outgoing, a leader, and a bit bossy. Hailey, compared to her peers at school, is also a strong leader but much more passive at home. But each of them are always willing to share, trade, and make sacrifices for the other. Mallory is a bit ahead of Hailey in the learning curve at school. She recognizes a few more letters and numbers than Hailey, but Hailey can swim the length of a pool by herself. She's never taken a swim class and her daddy has taught her everything she knows. I think she's a natural.

They are both entertainers at heart. Hailey especially loves to make us laugh. They each have their own little quirky things they pull out of their hats at any given moment and before long they have us all in stitches. Dinner time is a riot around here. They love to sing and dance.

I want to always remember what it's like when we snuggle. They're my snugglebugs. I want to always remember how sweet their voice is at this age. The way they pick up a tune so easily like their Mama. The way a song just rises out of their spirits and they make up the words and sing to Jesus. I want to remember the twinkle in their eye and pray it never goes away. I pray that they grow up to be not only hearers of the word but doers also. I pray they grow to be kind, empathetic, and loving woman.

The pair of them have filled our hearts and our lives with such blessing. With so much joy; joy unspeakable. As much as the two of them are a package they are separate individuals and I pray that I have the strength and guidance to support them when it comes time for them to feel separate and be different. That they always know how special they are as individuals. That the Lord blessed us with them both on the same day merely five minutes apart but he has gifted them uniquely and has a unique design for each of their lives. Funny, at this age they think they have to grow up and marry twins! Who knows, there is a cute set of five-year-old boys that live next door. I pray they always know how special they each are to all of us.

I'm especially proud of my older children. We don't seem to have the "youngest sibling" factor in our family. The older three are just as blessed by them both as my husband and I are as parents. They each have already demonstrated how nurturing and caring they are and I know that having siblings so much younger will help form them into wonderful parents themselves.

One thing I've learned along the way...don't let your children sleep in your bed! This has always been sort of a rule for us but when the kids are sick or other circumstances exist, I'm willing to make an exception. Until this week. Mallory has had a bad cough and is having a tough time sleeping so she's crawled into bed with us a few times this week. Well, Hailey wakes up and sees her missing so she climbs in as well. Before long, I wake up sandwiched between my stocky husband and a toddlers butt cheek with another ones legs across my torso. No more sleepovers!

I saw a headline on MSN.com about some essays that people had written titled "How lucky am I to have so much to lose." The conversations in my home recently have been deep and challenging but the Lord has guided those chats and broken down walls and barriers. I am truly blessed with a new revelation of just how blessed I am. I could not ask for more.

Keep Dancing!

It is crazy what a touch of warmth outside and lots of sunshine can do for a soul. I feel great this week and I'm getting a lot done too. I typically start laundry on Monday and it takes me all week to get it done, but I already folded and put away my last load and I've only got a few things to iron for the hubs. The carpet has been vacuumed. The windows and bathroom are clean. The sun is beaming in the windows. It's awesome.

I took advantage of the lack of chill in the air yesterday and photographed a few things in the backyard. It's incredible how gorgeous nature can be even in death. I'm so excited for the first spring flowers to spring up. I'm not naive enough to think that 30 degrees won't turn but a girl can hope right?

Mallory and Hailey are playing quietly in their own bedroom. That hasn't happened in eight months and it is quite refreshing for them to have their own space.

While folding I was watching Color Splash on HGTV hosted by David Bromstead who one a season of Design Star. David is an utter genius. I love every room I have seen him makeover and he covers every inch and every detail. He checks out the client's home and really listens to what they hope for the redo then brings it to life. What I love most is at every reveal he is always so unsure of himself; so humble. He is so talented and completely unaware of it. Actually, maybe he is aware of his talent but could be better phrased by saying he really wants to ensure that it's exactly what the client had in mind. I draw so much creativity and inspiration from him and I would love to get my hands on a room of my own. In due time though.

David's attitude reminds me of my own. It isn't enough for me to trust my technical skill behind the camera. It is so much more important to me that the bond, love, and relationships are transferred and brought to life in each image. I used to be the most insecure and shy person on the planet. Now I'm confident in my technical ability and truly love meeting new people and getting to know who they are and what they mean to each other to create lasting memories. The Lord has blessed me in an amazing way, pulled me out of my shell, my box, and in a way I never thought would have been possible. The aspirations He has for us greatly supersede what we ever think is possible for ourselves.

What's that new song playing? I heard it on the radio this morning and it totally won my heart. Though I'm not twenty and still looking for my dream the rest is utterly true for me. Yeah I'm full of dents and tears but grateful for every war wound because in the end I have found me. Not only have I found myself, I have finally grown into being proud of who I am and no longer apologizing for any of it. My reflection cast off of other people's opinions was a pure state of bondage. I said I was over it many, many times but today I can finally say I am free! Free to be me!

This life has been a dance. The music may skip and the steps may change but the melody goes on and we keep moving. Keep dancing!

My Provider

There is so much going on around here lately; it's starting to get a bit overwhelming again. The hubs is in the process of switching my server so I can finally debut karidawsonphotography.com. Until now it's just been a splash page for clients to get to my photo blog and client proofing areas. But, no more, I've got a full blown web site! So exciting!

The weather finally broke around here this weekend. It was 40 degrees and it seemed so glorious. The sun was shining. It was truly a welcome change and great to finally defrost. I was hoping to head outside with Faith this weekend for her turn at updating her pictures but it didn't work out. Saturday is always such a crazy day for us. We try to squeeze in something fun with the family but have to head back for an early dinner. Our church services are on Saturday evenings temporarily so the day goes so fast. I shot for Sunday but Mom and Dad threw a wrench in those plans with a big surprise for Faith and Karli. More on that in a sec.

Just a couple of other small things. I finished up the jacket for Tyler's polish dance costume and he was photographed in it last week. Now I'm working on skirts for my four girls for recital. I've got one done but hmph, three more to go. I've got a stack of my own clothes that still need to be altered in some way that I'm hoping to finish up this week as well. Then I'll be ready to whip up something to finish off Faith and Karli's surprise. I'm trying to make sure I photograph every day and keeping up on my Flickr stream, contacts, and groups, has been fun but time consuming. It's worth it though. I'm learning so much and meeting tons of new people. I've got my first portrait party coming up this month and have some loose ends to tie up for that. Mallory and Hailey are celebrating their fifth birthday next week so plans are in the works for that. I think that about covers all the craziness.

Many of you know that eight months ago, our family made the move from our home into my parent's house. Partly due to unforeseen economical issues and partly due to bad decision making. Anyway, that first few months were super tough. Pride is a tough thing to swallow and it took me a long time to choke it down. I'm the oldest child and typical type 'a' personality, perfectionist and all. So admitting I had failed at something was difficult enough. Admitting I need help from my parents to see my way out of it was a whole new ball game for me. They have been awesome and welcomed us with open arms and have never made us feel like we've overstayed our welcome or that they're trying to edge us out. Actually, the idea of moving on makes them each shudder.

Our four girls have been sharing one bedroom with Tyler in his own. This has been especially tough on Karli, the middle child, because Mallory and Hailey just adore everything she owns. Her toys, her clothes, her jewelry, her make-up. Therefore, they are constantly getting into it. Getting homework done in the bedroom is tough with a 4-year-old climbing on your bed constantly and annoying you. My two oldest girls were desperate for their own space.

The most challenging part for all of us during our stay at the Young residence has been that we do often feel like we're all on top of each other. I try to keep the kids playing in areas where they aren't overwhelming my Mom and Dad and in their spaces all the time. Although, really, my parent's wouldn't hear of it anyway. It seemed for a while like there was no place for any of them to escape to.

Well, my parent's decide this weekend, spur of the moment, that Sunday morning we were going to build a bedroom for Faith and Karli. It just so happened that each of them were away for sleepovers Saturday night and we had the day to pull it off. By the time they both got home we had the new room complete except for the project I have for them. Furniture was in, pictures were up, beds were made, and it was all theirs. I also managed to get Mallory and Hailey's room rearranged and moved their pictures and belongings around to accommodate them as well. All four girls are pleased and punch to say the least. Mallory and Hailey of course are super tempted to cross the threshold of the one area of the house that is completely off limits but so far they're minding. There are two temporary walls in the bedroom that are bare so I'm going to make some fabric panels for those walls. I think in the long run it will pull the room together, make it unique, and demonstrate a bit of the girls likes and personalities.

I'm incredibly grateful to my parent's. They are willing to stop at nothing to accommodate us and spoil their grandchildren completely rotten! I actually quite like our living arrangements and so grateful to have the Lords' grace upon us for this season. For he is certainly in control. He is Jehovah Jirah, which means he literally knows our need and makes provisions to accommodate that need before the need even arises! Awesome stuff! He knows the road ahead and what each next step will be for us. Todd has been working hard earning his bachelor's degree and it seemed like he was going to have to continue to take classes until next December instead of finishing up in May. Well with a little divine intervention for financial aid and a dash of answered prayer in the scheduling area Todd WILL finish in May. I'm so proud of him. He's working super hard, pulling all 'A's' and remaining on the Dean's List. He attends school at least two nights per week, works full time, and has 3-day classes that are 8-hours each at least two weekends per month. It's a sacrifice but one that I'm certain will pay off. I also know I would never be able to handle it if I didn't have the company and assistance of my parent's. God is in control! He proves himself daily.

I've got quick learners folks!

So Karli has this really cute pair of corduroy pants. I think they're cute, she despises them. She also has this super cute shirt. It's thermal looking in creme with a small floral print on it. Sewn together with it is a short sleeved blue shirt so it looks like a twofor but it's really just one. Sounds cute and comfy, no? Karli despises this shirt more than the cute pants.



Karli is only willing to wear the cute clothes. I packed her bag for a sleep over at Grandma's house. Yeah, I packed the cute pants and the cute shirt. She hated them and wore and came home in her pj's because she refused to put on the clothes I love and packed for her. So, Monday came around and guess what, she wore what I packed for Grandma's house. She wasn't happy about it, in fact, I think she said she hates me even. Oh well.



So this past weekend, I packed for another sleepover and Grandma's house. Yeah, I packed the same pair of cute pants. I gave her a shirt she likes though. She came home in the cute clothes I had packed for her this time. Karli comes in and says "you know I told Grandma, the next time I sleep over and I don't like what mom packed for me, make me wear them anyway. Because if I don't, I have to wear them to school the next day."



I held my belly laugh deep down with me and just politely said "oh that's nice Karli, I'm glad you got dressed today and those pants aren't so bad are they." So now I can let out my muaaahhhhh of a laugh. I love it when they catch on quick!

Want more peace, time, and fulfillment?

You know the trouble with reading more than one book at a time while trying to complete other projects only prolongs the amount of time it should really take to read any given book. I can never make up my mind so it's typical of me to read 3-4 books at a time. One of the books I'm slowly working my way through is The Mystery of God's Will by Charles Swindoll; yeah I've been reading it forever.

You want to know who's in charge around here? The One who called the spaces into being, the One who put the clouds in place, the One who established the atmosphere in which we're able to live, the One who separated the seas and the dry land, who gave you breath for your lungs and the ability to think. The One who placed you here, now in time, for His purpose, and the One who with the snap of His divine finger will pull you from life into eternity. Mysterious though our lives may seem, God, and God alone, is in charge.

Heavy as that is, I find relief in it. I'm not in this life running around aimlessly. The Lord has a plan for my life. All things happen for a reason and will ultimately prove to be for his glory alone. I may not have a clear idea of the whole picture but thank God he does. I don't think anymore that we can really "miss" God. We may take a step in a direction that is different that what God would have chosen for us but I believe God immediately makes provisions to get us back around to where he wanted to see us go. He is almighty and all knowing. He knows what we'll say before we say it, what we'll do before we do it. He makes provisions for us accordingly.

We can't just wonder around messing up and doing what we want and expect God to clean up after us. But, if we are diligent and we seek him first we will stay under the hedge of his umbrella of protection. He is a God of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. If we miss it, intentionally or otherwise, we are guaranteed to have at least one of those qualities bestowed upon us for help. Forgiveness, always. The Lord is not obligated to sustain us for things he hasn't called us to do so we may be without grace in an area for a season but we'll surely still have his love and mercy. If we commit to something we shouldn't be doing the quickest way to get back under his umbrella and back under his grace is to say "no" to that thing we first said "yes" to. This is tough stuff now, we may actually have to say "no" to someone or back out of a commitment, or be unable to help someone who is counting on us. Huh! Someone may not like us!

The answer is simple. Seek the Lord first and do what he has called you to do. If there isn't grace upon it, don't do it. You'll just end up miserable anyway. Oh, you may get a little bit of glory from on lookers, from man, but in the end, you won't care because you'll be miserable. Doing something you don't want to do, that you don't have time for, and probably for people you don't even like. If we said "yes" to the things we knew God wanted us to do and said "no" to all the things we did to impress others, we'd have so much more time, peace, and fulfillment.

Sharing Time

Okay, so I was tagged like 10 times this week on Facebook to write 25 Random Things About Me. I thought I'd share...

1. I'm one of "those" those woman who can't get enough of Hollywood
2. I choose Entertainment Tonight over the news 99% of the time
3. I watch The Bachelor
4. I think he's just lookn' for some action personally
5. Watching so much of The Bachelor has me watching to take up a collection of pretty scarves and run on the treadmill until I look that good
6. I watch too much TV
7. It's typical of me to be reading 3-4 books at any given time
8. I'm longing to decorate
9. I heart HGTV
10. I'm getting ready to repair some hems on a few polish dance costumes
11. I'm getting ready to make a whole jacket for Tyler for his polish dance recital
12. Last year I hand beaded Hailey's whole vest with millions of sequins
13. My children are all hard core entertainers, I wish I had a video camera!
14. I'm sick of the cold
15. My Web site is almost finished
16. I'm enjoying this more than I thought I would
17. I can honestly say I used to be shy, that took years!
18. I can also honestly say I used to be a follower! That one feels super good!
19. I'm one of those who also thinks that those who gossip with you will gossip about you
20. I used to be a gossiper
21. I'm really not happy about the broken windshield wiper that has left me stranded and having to cancel my appointment
22. I'm happy to have a good neighbor who is going to replace it for me so I can pick up my kids from school
23. I'm not always as confident as I look or say I am
24. I do believe in myself
25. And I'm glad to be surrounded by friends and family who also believe in me.

No shrinking dreams

So the hubs and I were watching some TV last night and something along the lines of "quit feeling sorry for yourself" was said. I said "sounds like someone I know." You see, Mr. Hubs likes to say that to me! The nerve, I know. So anyway, I was watching Joyce Meyer this morning and she says two things I found pertinent enough to write down: "for some people, they are their own worst enemies." She says this after praying aloud for the perfectionists in the room. What is this, pick on Kari day? So then she says, "quit feeling sorry for yourself." Really! I spend too much time focusing on me, and focusing on my circumstances. It affects my attitude and my outlook on life and even my goals.

Todd and I have an idea for the kind of home we'd like to live in when our future gets here. We've got a vision board with pictures on it of what the home will look like on the outside, photos of different rooms we both like for ideas of how to paint and decorate when we get there. We even found a floor plan, pulled it out of a magazine, and hung that on the vision board. We have an idea of what area of town we'd like to live and I had all but given up on that vision, that dream. I was holding onto the last thread before church yesterday. I started to get stirred up about this town yesterday morning. Then Pastor gets up and spends a minute talking about how the devil wants to shrink our dreams. He can't keep us out of heaven, it's too late for that. So, he wants to try to get us to accept less that what we had dreamed of. Shoot, he was almost done with me. I had moved my vision out of that town and into a decent imaginary home in another, more affordable city. That lasted for a while until I all but convinced myself that not only could I live with buying a home in this other city but I could even live with the smallest home in it! That future I didn't even have yet was in the process of being ripped out from under me.

Now I'm not suggesting that we be materialistic and place all our bets on God and stretch out faith for the biggest home in the best part of town. For me, I feel called to this particular area. it's a small town, our church home is located there, and it's just a quaint small community. With it, comes a Main Street. When my photography business is ready for a storefront, it WILL be located on Main Street! To wrap up the service we were shown a slide show of images from this particular city. Images of the towns churches that are uniting in prayer and service to this community. Images of the empty storefronts on Main Street with For Lease signs in the window because local businesses have not been able to stay afloat. One of those, probably with a red awning, will have Kari Dawson Photography above the door one of these days! Images of all the local schools and prophetic words that have been spoken over the city and the churches within it. This is the city I feel led to raise my family. My vision has been restored and a fire has been lit under my booty so to speak.

I am still reminded however that sometimes I need to check my attitude and check my heart. Todd and I are still in the midst of a journey as we are between houses. We see our future ahead of us but we are in a time of sowing right now. We are cleaning up old mistakes, rotten floor boards, and building a new foundation; an unshakable one. Though the transition to this place was a challenging one, we have found peace and comfort here. We have been accepted with open arms and patience as we rebuild and don't feel pressured to hurry along. We are blessed! In the end, when we get to the next level, to what our future has for us, we'll have a testimony of all that God did to restore us to that place. What he brought us from and where he is taking us. I am mindful that I have no testimony without a test. I am ready for the next level. Ready to go deeper. Ready to be held more accountable. Ready to make more progress and take more action.

In 2008, I began to keep a list of scriptures up on the vision board. Once that are relevant to what we are praying for. Some have served their purposes and will removed and new ones have taken their place.

Malachi 3:10 NLT
Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies, "I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!

Romans 15:13 NLT
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.